How To Cope With The Guilt Of Moving Mom Or Dad To A Memory Care or Assisted Living Facility
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, guilt is defined as, “Feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy.” This definition is commonly experienced by individuals when they realize that they can no longer care for mom or dad and need to place them in an assisted living or memory care facility.
Doug Manning, author of the book When Love Gets Tough – The Nursing Home Decision writes, “Many of our loved ones will live beyond our ability to care for them.” So how does one cope with the feelings of inadequacy and guilt that comes with the realization?
Here are some suggestions on how to ease the feelings of guilt so you can be lovingly present to help your elder mom or dad transition into the right memory care or assisted living facility:
Knowledge Is Power
Powerful feelings like guilt need an outlet. Why not channel your energy into productive activities like researching how to choose the best memory care or assisted living facility for your loved one? There are books you can read or you can contact the Alzheimer’s Association’s 24 Hour Helpline with questions on what to look for in a memory care facility or an assisted living community.
Take It Easy On Yourself
Believing that you “should” be able to care for your loved one until the end isn’t realistic. Caregivers are human and have limits. Not to mention that your aging loved one may have acute health or memory issues that require trained staff to care for them.
Be Open To Professional Help For Your Mom Or Dad
Consider that, although you are a wonderful and loving caregiver, your senior loved one can have 24-hour professional care in a safe environment at the right assisted living or memory care community. This could give you great peace of mind over time. Especially if your loved one is suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia, where memory care is needed.
Accept That The Move May Be Best for Your Aging Mom or Dad
The right memory care facility or assisted living community can offer your mom or dad round-the-clock safety and supervision, structure, and a stimulating, social environment. Your elder loved one may enjoy the new lifestyle, designed for their greatest physical, mental and emotional well-being.
Include Your Aging Mom Or Dad In The Decision-Making
Allowing your senior a say in the decisions that affect their daily life can provide a smoother transition for both you and for them. When you allow your mom and dad a little autonomy, the transition may go smoother, lessening your feelings of guilt as you see your aging parent take some control of their new living arrangements.
Guilt is a normal feeling when it’s time to make the decision to move mom or dad to a memory care or assisted living facility. If strong, negative emotions continue after you move your loved one to an assisted living facility, seek out a mental health professional to help you work through your feelings.
The experts at Sodalis Senior Living are always available to address any doubts or questions you may have about transitioning mom or dad to a memory care or assisted living community. Feel free to contact us or come visit for a tour of one of our beautiful communities.